OCI treadmill

So OCI interviews are this week, and I did all of the things we're supposed to do: dropped resumes, bought a suit, found the pair of heels I haven't worn since my brother's wedding, polished a writing sample, obtained references, etc. I had my first (maybe only?) interview today, and I think it went pretty well. I wrote the thank you notes and they will be mailed tomorrow. So why do I feel like I'm going through the motions? I'm not entirely sure I want to work for a firm, but I feel like I have to at least give it a try, not least for the money. It would be great to earn some real money over the summer, to make up for the borrowing for the semester. My backup plan is summer school, of course, but that does require borrowing yet more money. I don't like that it comes down to financial considerations as the bottom line. And I'm afraid of getting caught on the treadmill, and waking up again when I'm 50 and wondering what on earth happened.